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There is the possibility that she will wise up over time, but not likely. This happened to me, and it took me forever to get out of the cult. Maybe more convinced than you are. I would also say that this is the most stressful point in their lives. The ex gets it all lol. I'd at least insist that at 12 the kids can choose to disaffiliate. I've told her that but maybe she doesn't believe me. I suggest to run as it will not get better.
Stick around on this sub. Would I like to have him by my side. I get it; I just don't buy into it. I am fortunate to be married to a surgeon who, although he has "the ego," he maintains Christian values in our home. And their feelings about your marriage are their businessвnot yours. I can see why people get a divorce when their kids get older. This could possibly be worked out with some communication; perhaps he just hasn't given it enough thought to realize how shitty it is It's very inconsiderate of him.